Do you avoid conflict? Feel lonely in your relationship? Mostly talk about logistics and details, and feel uncomfortable talking about feelings?
I find so often that people who feel like this grew up in families that weren't especially emotionally attuned. That's no one's fault. (It's mostly how our parents were raised themselves.) But it teaches kids that feelings don't matter, and kids turn into adults who have trouble talking about or understanding emotions and how they work. Emotions become overwhelming, shameful, tiresome, or a problem to deal with.
The thing is, emotional skills are essential to thriving in life! People with good emotional intelligence navigate life's ups and downs feeling less lonely, more connected, more alive, and more successful.
And the great news is this: emotional intelligence is just ... skills. Skills we can learn because we're all designed for emotional intelligence, connection, and relationships.
So if your marriage feels flat, a little boring, or disconnected you hold the power to improve things. And look at it this way, there's no down-side to knowing more about yourself and how you feel.
If you didn't learn how to do this in your family growing up, if your family wasn't one to notice problems or talk openly about them, it's not too late to learn now. Your current relationship is just the place for you to start.
You can get better at feeling, understanding, and expressing your emotions in a way that will help you have more love and connection with your partner. Why not try?