If you're beginning to fear that your life has unfolded more like someone you're not, rather than as who you are, there's always time to change course.
It's why you were given emotions as a child. They were meant to be your North Star.
The keys to the castle are to learn to feel all of it again, with the trust and acceptance you did when you were that little kid. Back before you learned to put on the mask that made other people happy.
The purpose of your feelings is to steer your life in alignment with your true self. Can you brave taking off the mask?