1. Make the first move. If you're both thinking "why should it be me?" nothing will change. So ask yourself: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
2. Stop trying to change your partner. Accept that you are both imperfect people. Thank goodness we don't have to be perfect to be loved! Love your partner the way you want to be loved: flaws and all.
3. Use positive language. People shut down and stress goes up in negative, criticizing conversations.
4. Start with "I feel...". Talking about how you feel rather than blaming the other person makes your partner less defensive and more able to hear what you're saying. Good, right?
5. Get support. Take a breather and get some perspective sometimes from people who support your relationship. Maybe it's a friend, a family member, or a therapist, but try to find someone without an agenda of their own.
6. Spend time together. It's easy to forget about the two of you in the busy daily routine of family and work. But prioritize your relationship above all. This is your teammate in life, right? So make a regular date - weekly, or even monthly - and go do something where you can just be together and enjoy one another.