Have you ever noticed that people who were raised in an environment of shame tend to shame others? It's rampant.
Not because people are mean and want to hurt each other. Just because the language your family raises you with is the language you become fluent in - and shame is the language of America.
Good/bad, right/wrong, my way/your way ... everything and everyone must be judged and categorized. Once a problem is categorized, blame can be assigned. So we shame people: including our children, our partners, and people we love. And that's the way we're taught to cope with an unpredictable world.
Because shame starts early, it's invisible. When everyone has it and it's reflected back at you from everywhere (family, school, media, politics, culture) - how can you see it? We're like fish: blind to the water we swim in.
But if your work is mostly about shame, as mine is, you do see it everywhere. It's like someone poured food coloring into the fish tank.
Just try talking about shame if you want to watch how automatic and hard people's shame talk kicks in! (Don't dismantle my binary world: someone must be Right and someone must be Wrong!)
Shame. The gift that keeps on giving.
But there's always this: you can commit yourself to seeing and speaking about it. Throw light on it. Like Brene Brown says, shame depends on secrecy, silence and judgment. It can't survive empathy. "It depends on me buying into the belief that I'm alone."