"I'm a nice person, why do I always get taken advantage of?" "I should just never trust people, I always end up alone."
Why do these patterns keep happening in our lives?
Two words: your emotions.
You were born, like all humans, a deeply emotional being. But your brain is wired to fear difficult feelings, and to perceive them as being equally as dangerous as falling off a cliff.
So unless you learned at an early age that it was safe to feel your emotions by having the good fortune of growing up in a family comfortable with emotions—your brain learned instead to default to the habit of avoiding them.
But unfelt emotions never go away.
Instead, in a paradoxical twist, your brain unconsciously looks for and is drawn to people and situations that will recreate the very feelings you're trying to avoid (like rejection, loneliness, and neglect)—all in an effort to get you to finally feel the feeling and get on with things.
Because felt emotions don't stick around forever.
They come and go like waves on the ocean, and they often pass by in a few minutes. And: they definitely won't kill you.
Unlike unexpressed emotions, which over time go deeper into your body and get expressed in the long-term physical symptoms of loneliness, anger, anxiety, and depression.
Which will you choose? To learn to feel things that won't actually kill you, or to spend a lifetime resisting them while they repeatedly knock at your door?
I know you're scared. But you can feel things and survive. And thrive. You were actually born for it.