On imperfection and shame, according to Anne Lamott quoting her friend Tom, the Jesuit priest.
The Five Rules of Being a Grown-Up American:
1. You mustn't have anything wrong or different about you.
2. If you do, you really have to get over it. Or correct it as quickly as possible.
3. If you can't get over it or correct it, you have to pretend that you have.
4. If you can't do any of that, you should at least pretend it's no longer an issue for you. (Because showing up "like that" is an issue for everyone else.)
5. If you're going to insist on the right to show up, you should at least have the decency to be ashamed.
(Footnote: Therapy, healing, and self-compassion can help you recover your life from shame.)